So I've spoken before on how I do suffer from anxiety at times. Today when I went to my public skate with intentions to practice what I've learned and get some exercise on my unused muscles in, that demon came back to haunt me. I actually stopped skating and left because the crowd was just too much for me. I realize that it's going to be something I have to deal with and fight against in the future if I ever intend to get anywhere with my skating, but I really struggled today.
For the first time since I started skating, I wasn't really smiling all that much and it was a little depressing. If it wasn't for my fiancee and a close friend whom at this point. I owe a lot to. I likely would have quit many of my hobbies a long time ago. I never used to be like this, I used to love being in the spotlight and being the center of attention. Now it's like I'm a skittish deer in the headlights.
I hope I can some day get over this.
Although, I definitely have to get new skates as these used ones make my feel more than a bit sore.
Moving on from my whining though. I've got a few public skates coming up this week which hopefully won't be too crowded so I can get in some practice and work on my edges, stopping and posture. Then Friday I have another lesson with my coach which I got a bit of exciting news the other day that we can do some extended lessons since she has a bit more time. So that's a plus.
Moving on. I joined a few different skating forums online when I started skating and I have to admit, the support and conversations I've had and received have been amazing. I've learned a lot in a very short amount of time and any time I ask a question I get a flood of great answers. I've also noticed that when I give motivation advice, I sound a bit like a fortune cookie. Lame.
Anyways. Just a small entry explaining things a bit.
Ciao for now!